Anger

Vulgaritiy-laden and angst-filled.
Warning: please skip if u do not wish to be offended.

***


Behind target now. I haven't even finished carbo notes and i'm only 1/4 in my pp notes.

And i can't remember anything at all. Fuck. I've never felt so screwed up before.

Everytime i despair, i wonder why those assholes who set the exam dates set two papers, both requiring u to memorize, on the same day, 2 hours apart. no brainers. Maybe it's because of a screwup between Pharm and Medicine. maybe they don't like each other, whatever. We have to bear the brunt of it, we being Batch 2 pharm students.

Defeated on both flanks. How screwed up is that.
With half the time to study for pharm practice - we get screwed by batch 1 people.
Pitched against people with strong lsm knowledge and have been studying lsm for their whole uni life - we get screwed by them.

This is not a fair match. It never was, anyway.

I wonder why do we even try in the first place. Was there a quote by some smartass, "never fight a battle you can't win?"

I feel so sorry for the nursing students which i had laughed at in an earlier post. Seems like the karma is coming back now.

My only consolation is that i will be able to screw all the books and notes once this exam is over and rest in peace, literally.

I think for this sem, it will be a tough fight to even get a cap of 3.5, judging by the useless performance i put up before and the even more pathetic performance i'm gonna put up. Gonna pull down the cap by like 0.1 overall, which may not seem much, but it's extremely hard to get back to 3.8. There goes the FYP. didn't expect it to be so fast. Maybe there goes the second lower as well. I wonder if i'm still gonna lead the YEP next sem, to lead a bunch of people who... never mind. Some things are better left unsaid. I know i'm stupid and incapable, a piece of shit who deserves something like "oh, really? you have epilepsy? oh my god... i hope it's not too serious."

Assholes. Stress is piling up, it's making the whole process even difficult. And no-one cares. Not even one single person in the damned admin is gonna care, not even one single person is gonna say "oh sorry". They've done it countless times, there are people who took two papers in one day and got away with smiles.

You will see me get away in an ambulance. Damn it.

***

sorry i'm not in the most understanding of moods, nor the most diplomatic of moods.

let me hide in my cave. period.