why queue?'s a series of unfortunate events

when you're down and out, every bad thing that happens to you, accumulates.... to the negative sense of mood.
and you tend to ignore every good thing that comes along your way.

Wednesday.

11pm-12am thursday: quarrel.
12am-1am: busy with printing notes, answering rogue questions about an experiment which i had no idea about and calculating rogue figures. on msn. answering yep trip questions. on msn. congratulating jw on her dance. on msn.

ignoring nuan. on msn.
in total, i had about 7 windows on msn. normal workload: 1 window.

tried printing notes. printer jammed. wasted two pieces of paper. document came out lousy. can't remove the jammed paper. removed and to my horror it's badly deformed. demoralized that i have to do 2 tutorials by tmr which i'm printing out now. hunted all over the house for stapler. damn pissed at not being able to find one after searching all the cupboards. lamented that, in such a big house, there's no stapler. although i can find an abundance of stapler bullets all over the house. felt stupid at asking cecilia to leave my trusty pink stapler, used since hall days, in the PS room lost and found counter. cursed the person who took the stapler even though she left it at 4pm and i went to check at 5pm.

don't take things which are not yours, asshole.

12pm. came to sch. 1pm. went to buy stapler for $2.5. used up the last $2 note in my wallet. quite broke now. went to buy coffee for 60c. real milk coffee, not yuan yang.

1:30pm. both mechanical pencils broke down, no lead. used 2b pencils from last lsm test instead. blunt and disgusting.

2pm. came to LT20 for pharm prac lecture. deep in the middle of a card game when peirong asked me to pay up $50 for class fund, if not next time she sees me pay $55. lost that game somemore. real bad mood now. thought of last night's quarrel over a small thing and totally flared up. getting uncontrollable. went to the back of LT20 and saw grace talking on the phone. went into the dark antechamber instead, squatted in the shitting position back facing the wall. surprised junice who was on her way to the toilet. deep breaths. semi-calmed down.

3pm. break. talked to no one, once break was announced i made for the ATM outside LT27. armed with blank expression to the surprise of the pharm seniors sitting outside the LT. withdrew $50 and handed it to peirong. went to lvl 4 toilet. washed my face. came down. saw my bag on the seat and promptly slammed it down hard, alarming wanchee and mayi sitting on the lower tier. yuantai asked me why was i so angry. i didn't reply. i didn't know myself. during the 2nd half of the lecture i just scribbled away furiously.

4pm. pharm analysis. moved to the uppermost tier to rest my head against the wall. started lsm tutorial. saw dr chan walking in. class started. first person he picked to answer the question was me and i didn't know a shit. flipping through notes. jason offered me his notes but then dr chan said "oh look he's flipping through answers now" or something. refused the answers. getting pissed why i'm not coming into this lecture prepared as i would have expected. answered the question wrongly, my voice resonating through the whole, silent LT.

got better during the lecture. by 5:30pm i was quite neutral. after lecture i zoomed out. headed from LT20 to YIH by foot. didn't wanna call nuan. it would make things worse.

YIH. ate. approached the stall but remembered i had no cash. went to draw. came back. bought food. wanted to call nuan. hesitant. decided to wait for her sms. went to study room to attempt the tutorials. phone turned to silent. half attempting half looking at the phone. jw asked me whether i would be going for her concert. checked with lin qun. nope. sad for her.

wang asked me out for dinner instead, although i have eaten. took the 96 from YIH to clementi MRT. trains were darn packed. didn't know rush hr traffic was that shitty. had to get on the third train eventually after some pushing around. just to take one stop to jurong east.

7-8pm. wang. not too bad. jokes abound. was good.

8-10pm. tutorials. not much done. didn't add on any stuff for pharm prac tutorial. guess i'll type. listened to songs, esp 我真的受伤了 (wo zhen de shou shang le) by jacky cheung. it's in D Major. sad song.

10pm-11pm. nuan came online. answered her with one-word replies. very hostile(myself). still hiding around the barrier that i have foolishly erected.

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disclaimer:

i do not blame peirong or dr eric chan on what they have done today. they did their duty as treasurer, collecting money from students, and lecturer, asking questions before lecture (which he does).

it's just unfortunate that they had to do it on such a day, when i wasn't feeling myself and my rebellious self had come out to play.

to all the others who witnessed this horrible self of mine, i sincerely apologise. esp to junice, mayi, wanchee and all the guys.

Labels: shitty moment