Terrible day

life is strange.

one day u feel so happy, and the next day u feel so sad.

it is so amazing to see how fast the mood changes.

somehow after the dfd test today i really felt out of place. felt like, oh, shit. what am i doing here.

i ponder about all the things i did in the past year and a half, and realise that some of them didn't make sense. most. if not all.

this world is so hard to understand. yet, this is the only world we have. the things in it, we strive to comprehend by the day, thinking we might have understood some of the world; but actually we are indeed so misled by ourselves. we do not understand as much, as we think we did.

at some point in time, everything becomes meaningless. what happened to be any successful operation, carefully and meticulously planned, painstakingly - suddenly seems so negligible. when you realise you're fighting for a cause that has been long lost.

when you realise you no longer have the means and abilities to achieve what you want.