emed interviews...
...i lost.
dunno what had gone wrong. somehow, the show didn't fit into place.
well.
guess right from the start, i knew that this was a battle that had a slim chance of winning. had to admit i didn't know the exco quite well. and that, since the decision was to be done by them alone, this was a big disadvantage.
i checked my abilities, to make sure that they could back up the zest; maybe there wasn't enough substance in that. what have i learned? maybe, nothing, in these escapades that i went: bhbh2, focc. really, maybe nothing much, except mucking around, only driven by mere illusions that i had something going, and that it was going smoothly, and great, and how great a leader i was.
guess i am no leader. no leadership qualities, more of the follower kind. no training prior.
and that i was even confident, even too over-confident, for the wrong reasons. for that i have not given due consideration to the consequences had i lost, and what should i do. there are no other leadership positions possible.
should i tone-down my activity and remain passive like my band of brothers, stuck in their own world of choice? what about all the fine ideals that i have mentioned of in grandeur, are they but statements made in jest, or in moments of foolishness?
yes. i know i alone cannot take defeat by the horns and wrestle it ala Spanish style. i cannot accept defeat at all, maybe this is characteristic of the Samurai-style achievement that is one of my ideal. but i guess when it hits... it hits... and it sucks. the great physiological changes that take place is indeed crushing, but it goes regardless like a heavy locomotive rushing through its tracks, and i will wait for the time when the locomotive finally moves away, the barrier is lifted, and i shall continue on with my life.
from the other side of the coin.. i guess kiki did well. she spoke better, more eloquent, and her plans were more concrete. instead of just being real ideas, she had concrete plans. definite ways of which how to solve problems, where i left everything else to chance, being mere sketches. i wish her well in her incoming endaveours.
and when the dust is settled after the train moves away, i shall examine the roads in front of me, and decide on an alternative path.
i guess, perhaps fate has other things in store for me? or maybe God or who else decides, after a hectic year of play/fun/havoc in year 1, it's time to chill out and mug like a real university student. take good care of my brain. no more work-related seizures. there's always been this objective pasted on the previous blog to pull up my CAP. probably i can do that now.
probably.
...i lost.
dunno what had gone wrong. somehow, the show didn't fit into place.
well.
guess right from the start, i knew that this was a battle that had a slim chance of winning. had to admit i didn't know the exco quite well. and that, since the decision was to be done by them alone, this was a big disadvantage.
i checked my abilities, to make sure that they could back up the zest; maybe there wasn't enough substance in that. what have i learned? maybe, nothing, in these escapades that i went: bhbh2, focc. really, maybe nothing much, except mucking around, only driven by mere illusions that i had something going, and that it was going smoothly, and great, and how great a leader i was.
guess i am no leader. no leadership qualities, more of the follower kind. no training prior.
and that i was even confident, even too over-confident, for the wrong reasons. for that i have not given due consideration to the consequences had i lost, and what should i do. there are no other leadership positions possible.
should i tone-down my activity and remain passive like my band of brothers, stuck in their own world of choice? what about all the fine ideals that i have mentioned of in grandeur, are they but statements made in jest, or in moments of foolishness?
yes. i know i alone cannot take defeat by the horns and wrestle it ala Spanish style. i cannot accept defeat at all, maybe this is characteristic of the Samurai-style achievement that is one of my ideal. but i guess when it hits... it hits... and it sucks. the great physiological changes that take place is indeed crushing, but it goes regardless like a heavy locomotive rushing through its tracks, and i will wait for the time when the locomotive finally moves away, the barrier is lifted, and i shall continue on with my life.
from the other side of the coin.. i guess kiki did well. she spoke better, more eloquent, and her plans were more concrete. instead of just being real ideas, she had concrete plans. definite ways of which how to solve problems, where i left everything else to chance, being mere sketches. i wish her well in her incoming endaveours.
and when the dust is settled after the train moves away, i shall examine the roads in front of me, and decide on an alternative path.
i guess, perhaps fate has other things in store for me? or maybe God or who else decides, after a hectic year of play/fun/havoc in year 1, it's time to chill out and mug like a real university student. take good care of my brain. no more work-related seizures. there's always been this objective pasted on the previous blog to pull up my CAP. probably i can do that now.
probably.
i look at my angel's wings on my back. probably it's time to take them off now... and put it on the clotheshanger.
i'm sitting down at my laptop now, wondering what to do, who to talk to, what to say. drinking the beer that i've bought for my birthday. finally there's a good use for these 3 cans, who are gonna expire soon.
beer sucks. it tastes horrible.
Dispense-A-Dream '07
Live your dream!
2:31 pm
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Ipod
The Man
Name: Tan Yongqiang
Birthday: 19 Nov 19XX
Profession: Student (Pharmacy)
Zodiac: Scorpio
Email: whyqueue@hotmail.com
Favourites: Songs
Likes: Having fun, friends, music, dreaming
Dislikes: Being lonely and wasting time
Wishlist
Nuannuan
Genuine friends
Survive pharmacy
Get a nice job with a decent salary
Write at least one song
Film at least one MTV
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I Vow to Lose Everything
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baidu
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Ishkur's Guide to Electronic Music
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fmr1gene
tuck som bong
Yuantai
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Yew Sen
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Puay Kee
Christina
Jeannie
Jiexin
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Recollections Part 2
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